Candid discussions about sexual desire can be difficult for most couples because of the shame and taboo associated with the topic. This can lead to people finding themselves stuck in unfulfilling relationships. Given that sex is one of the most frequently cited reasons for failed relationships, it’s vital for couples to not only be able to engage in guilt-free acts of intimacy, but also be able to voice their sexual needs.
“Men should be educated and know about their partner, and women should be educated about their partner,” says Dr. James Elist, a leading urologist and the inventor of Penuma, the first Food and Drug Administration-cleared aesthetic penile implant.
Elist has extensive expertise on this touchy subject. He’s spent decades treating male sexual health issues and has witnessed up close the devastating effect an unfulfilling sex life can have on couples. He notes that men’s self-confidence is greatly affected by their perception of themselves, especially in their nether regions.
Unfortunately, most men perceive their penises to be smaller than average — and this can impact them gravely. There are others who might not think that their penis is small but are affected by conditions such as erectile dysfunction or Peyronie’s disease, which leads to scarring and penis curvature, or suffer from penis shortening after procedures such as penile prostate prosthesis. These issues can often lead to problems in the bedroom.
“Their manhood, the size of their penis, is very, very important for them. That low self-confidence and self-esteem can have a major effect on their life and their relationship,” says Dr. James Elist.
These issues can also profoundly affect men’s partners, leading both sides to be consumed by feelings of low self-esteem, guilt, and frustration. Such feelings are further compounded when couples cannot openly talk about these issues.
The hesitation to discuss these issues can be attributed to various reasons. They may perceive a confrontational conversation about sex, an already sensitive topic, as a threat to the relationship, so they would rather remain silent. They may be concerned about their partner’s feelings and sacrifice their needs for the benefit of their partner. Or they may perceive such conversations as a threat to themselves, given that such a candid conversation requires vulnerability.
Most people would find these to be very compelling reasons to remain silent. But avoiding confrontation and not voicing your sexual needs can lead to more harm than good. Intimacy issues have the power to silently chip away at relationships. Consequently, Elist advocates for open and honest communication between couples.
What Elist noticed in his medical practice was that in some cases, communication didn’t fix the situation. If a man or his partner felt his penis was inadequate and this was impacting their sexual needs, the only solution was fixing the root cause — the penis. This is why he developed Penuma, a penile implant made from medical-grade silicon, that can be inserted under the penile skin through a surgical procedure that typically lasts 45 to 60 minutes.
Penuma’s Positive Impact on Partners
When Elist was developing Penuma, he may have had an inkling about the life-changing effect it could have on his patients. But what he may not have anticipated was the positive effect his product could have on his patients’ partners. Fast-forward to today, Penuma’s consequences aren’t lost on him.
“When people come back and they say, ‘My wife’s very happy. Now our relationship is much better,’ and I feel like I’m bringing peace to the family, which is very important for me as a spiritual and religious person,” shares Elist.
Despite overwhelmingly positive results, Elist observes that even satisfied patients are reluctant to talk about the procedure.
“Unfortunately for us, men do not talk about penile implants. If they have it, then I tell them, ‘If you have any friends or anybody, please refer them.’ They say, ‘I’m not going to talk about this to anybody,’” he laments.
This culture of repression can lead to numerous issues. It’s one of the biggest reasons why couples often struggle to have candid discussions about sex. This feeling of discomfort can lead to people feeling embarrassed. At its worst, it can take away the joy associated with sex, often causing people to feel shame.
It’s not all doom and gloom, though: Elist has noticed a fundamental change. “At least 30% to 40% of our patients come with their partner,” he notes.
Penuma’s website is flush with positive testimonials — including those from women. “I am writing this on behalf of my husband. [Penuma] saved our marriage. Not that we were not happy, but we were having difficulties in bed and now life is extremely more enjoyable for both of us,” wrote Olivia.
In other cases, women are being proactive and helping their husbands get the help they need. “The penile shortening post penile prosthesis insertion was impacting my life till my wife researched and found out about the Penuma,” shared Marty.
These are but a few success stories. Since it was invented, Penuma has been successfully implanted in thousands of men, improving their and their partners’ lives.
Dr. James Elist is working endlessly to reach more people. The implant is also available in Colombia, UAE, and Qatar — but Elist has his eyes set on more regions. “At some point, hopefully, it can be more available and more international, so that even patients out of the United States can take advantage of this procedure,” he says.