In today’s fast-paced world, achieving a harmonious balance between professional success and personal fulfillment can be challenging. Dagmar Kusiak, founder of InsidesMatch and an esteemed relationship coach, specializes in guiding driven professionals toward nurturing healthy, long-lasting relationships. Drawing from her personal journey and extensive experience, Dagmar offers profound insights into overcoming attachment issues, building self-confidence, and fostering meaningful connections. In this interview, we delve into her philosophy and strategies for transforming relationship struggles into strengths.
In this exclusive interview, we dive into the world of love, connection, and personal growth with renowned relationship coach Dagmar Kusiak. With years of experience helping individuals and couples build healthy, lasting relationships, Dagmar has become a guiding light for those navigating the complexities of love and self-discovery. Let’s welcome her to the show. Hello, Dagmar, welcome.
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Dagmar Kusiak: Thank you. It’s so nice to meet you, Jacqueline. How are you? It’s such an honor to be able to spend some time with you today.
Beverly Hills Magazine: I’m so excited to dive into what you do because it’s so important for all of us to learn about relationships and emotional well-being. So, let’s not waste any time. Why don’t we start with you telling us a little bit about what inspired you to become a relationship coach?
Dagmar Kusiak: I love that question because I get it a lot. For me, what inspired me was experiencing a lot of pain around relationships. I didn’t know how to have a healthy relationship—not just romantically but also in friendships, at work, and with my coworkers and boss. I was a complete people pleaser, always doing whatever was expected of me.
I was raised that way. I’m Polish, and in my culture, we are taught to listen to our parents without question. It goes beyond respect—it becomes a pattern of being a doormat. It was ingrained in me, and I carried that into adulthood.
Beverly Hills Magazine: Wow, that must have been difficult. Was there a specific moment when you realized you needed to change?
Dagmar Kusiak: Yes, the turning point for me was in 2014. I was engaged, and we were six months away from the wedding. We had paid for everything and sent out invitations, but something inside me kept saying, “This is not my person.” I felt an overwhelming sense that I couldn’t go through with it, even though I didn’t fully understand why at the time. The shame and guilt were immense, but ultimately, I called off the wedding.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That must have been devastating at the time.
Dagmar Kusiak: Absolutely. But looking back, I now see it as divine intervention. At that moment, I listened to my inner voice, which was screaming at me to make the right choice. Later, I even got a tattoo of an angel with the words “Trust Me” as a reminder that I need to trust my intuition.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s powerful. I think we all have an angel and a demon on our shoulder, and it’s so important we listen to the angel, or Voice of God, because that is divine guidance meant to lead us on the right path. So, after that experience, how did you begin your journey toward healing?
Dagmar Kusiak: I started therapy, even though, in my family, therapy was seen as a sign of weakness. I also tried antidepressants, hypnosis, and various other tools. I spent thousands of dollars on therapy, and while it helped to a degree, I still felt stuck. That’s when I truly dove deep into learning tools for healing and emotional well-being.
Beverly Hills Magazine: So, your personal journey led you to relationship coaching?
Dagmar Kusiak: Exactly. I became obsessed with understanding relationships and emotions. I learned so much that I felt a calling to help others. What I teach my clients today are things I actively practice myself. I wouldn’t give advice that I haven’t applied to my own life.
Beverly Hills Magazine: Let’s dive into attachment styles. What are they, and why are they so important in relationships?
Dagmar Kusiak: Attachment styles are essentially how we communicate and connect in relationships. They are shaped by our early experiences and can change depending on circumstances. The four main attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. For example, someone with an anxious attachment style might overanalyze a rejection, obsess about what went wrong, and struggle with feelings of self-doubt. Understanding these patterns allows people to develop healthier relationship dynamics.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s fascinating. You mentioned that people can shift between attachment styles. Can you elaborate on that?
Dagmar Kusiak: Absolutely. No one is locked into one attachment style forever. Different experiences can trigger different responses. Someone might generally be secure but become anxious in a stressful relationship. Similarly, an avoidant person might become more open and trusting with the right partner. The key is recognizing these patterns and working towards a more secure attachment through self-awareness and growth.
Beverly Hills Magazine: You also mentioned that attachment styles can reveal deeper insecurities. How do these insecurities manifest in relationships?
Dagmar Kusiak: Insecurities can show up in various ways, such as low self-esteem, people-pleasing, or avoidance. Some people turn to emotional comforts like food, video games, or other distractions to cope. Others might become overly dependent on their partners. My detailed attachment quiz helps clients uncover these behaviors, and from there, we create a roadmap for healing.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That makes sense. The goal is to develop a secure attachment style. How do you help clients achieve that?
Dagmar Kusiak: My process is tailored to each individual, but on average, it takes about 60 days to change behavioral patterns. We start by addressing mindset shifts because our thoughts shape our beliefs and actions. If someone has low confidence, they will struggle to show up fully in a relationship. We work on self-esteem, communication skills, and breaking unhealthy patterns. I also provide anxiety management tools and exercises to help clients navigate emotional triggers.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s an essential step. Many people try to move on from breakups by distracting themselves rather than doing the inner work. What are some common mistakes people make after a breakup?
Dagmar Kusiak: One common mistake is avoiding emotional processing. People often distract themselves with vacations, new purchases, or social outings, but that doesn’t address the root issue. Another mistake is romanticizing the past. Playing sad love songs for months keeps you stuck in a cycle of grief rather than moving forward. It’s important to reflect on the relationship objectively—what went wrong, what lessons can be learned, and how to grow from the experience.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s great advice. So many people jump into new relationships without healing from the last one. What’s your perspective on rebound relationships?
Dagmar Kusiak: Rebounds can be risky because they often serve as a distraction rather than genuine connection. If someone hasn’t taken the time to reflect and heal, they may bring the same insecurities into the next relationship. Instead, I encourage people to focus on self-discovery, personal growth, and understanding their attachment style before pursuing something new.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s such valuable insight. If someone is struggling with relationships and wants to start their healing journey, what’s the first step?
Dagmar Kusiak: The first step is awareness. Take the attachment style quiz, reflect on past patterns, and identify areas for growth. From there, seek guidance—whether through coaching, therapy, or self-help resources. The goal is to cultivate self-love and emotional security so that future relationships are healthy and fulfilling.
Dagmar Kusiak: Thank you! I’m honored to share this with your readers, and I hope it inspires them to embark on their own journeys of growth and healing.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s amazing. What is the most rewarding part of helping others improve their relationships?
Dagmar Kusiak: Seeing transformation in my clients is the most rewarding part. It’s not just about them finding love or getting engaged—although that’s wonderful—it’s about them discovering self-worth. I see reflections of myself in my clients, and when they start to truly love themselves, that’s when everything changes for them.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s so true. It sounds like your coaching isn’t just about relationships, but also about personal growth.
Dagmar Kusiak: Absolutely. It’s about learning how to show up in relationships as a whole, confident person. When you don’t love yourself, you tend to attract unhealthy dynamics. Relationship coaching is really emotional coaching—teaching people to be effective in relationships by first healing themselves.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s an important message. Before we wrap up, what is one piece of advice you’d give to someone struggling in their relationships?
Dagmar Kusiak: The most important thing is to trust yourself. If something feels off, listen to that voice. And never be afraid to seek guidance—whether through therapy, coaching, or personal development. Healing is possible, and you deserve healthy, loving relationships.
Beverly Hills Magazine: That’s beautiful advice. Dagmar, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. Your expertise is invaluable, and we appreciate the work you do in helping people build better relationships.
Dagmar Kusiak: Thank you, Jacqueline. It’s been a pleasure.
Beverly Hills Magazine: And to our readers, remember—love starts with you. Until next time!
Dagmar Kusiak’s dedication to helping individuals understand and heal their attachment styles serves as a beacon for those seeking deeper connections and emotional security. Through her work at InsidesMatch, she empowers clients to embark on transformative journeys of self-discovery and relational growth. By addressing underlying insecurities and promoting self-awareness, Dagmar paves the way for healthier, more fulfilling relationships that enrich both personal and professional realms.